How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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