My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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