You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
