There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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