dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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