I'm gonna have a badass scar
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize