How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
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