you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
