it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
