...so i touched it.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
