I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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