Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
