Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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