i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
