Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
