I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
