Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i just had sex bonerless
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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