You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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