I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I did not marry a roomba.
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