is your mom at the bar?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
