so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
