I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
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I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
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You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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