come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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