oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
