I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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