please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
