That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
