Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
