I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
