and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
