I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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