only you would photoshop your dick
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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