trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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