The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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