Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
