How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
