I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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