he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
