Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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