I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
