you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
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I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
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I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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