You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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