She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
