Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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