you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
