What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
