6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
