dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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