Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
