Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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