Porn is love you can see.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
