Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
