For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
