just survived the first fart of the relationship.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
