would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
