I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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