Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
