Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
