dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
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